Everything we judge in others is actually an aspect of ourselves. When we learn to become aware of our automatic responses to the things others do we can go within and use the feelings that are triggered to heal ourselves. By doing this we transform ourselves and the world around us.

We constantly see and criticize how false people are, the masks they adopt, how they compromise, and the level of mediocrity that surrounds us. We see this on the outside, in the news headlines, on social networks, on TV, in novels, but can we see it in ourselves?.

We swear that we are not like that, but I invite you to open up to the possibility that maybe some of this belongs to you too. Not to judge yourself, but to eradicate what is internally sustaining (albeit subtly and surreptitiously), the existence of these aspects. Everything that annoys us externally is an aspect of ourselves, and if we can recognize it, love it and heal it, it will no longer remain hidden within, capable of generating pain and causing suffering.

When we change, the world around us changes. When one heals those places of suffering, and the lack of love within, the vibration of love rises in everything. We all deserve to experience this. How can I make this change? If I do not like something on the outside, first I need to ask myself: where is that within me? How can I change that in me? And then I must remain willing to make that change, so that it can begin to happen.

Here is an example:  “They deceive me, they lie to me, they disappoint me, and they abandon me without telling me why,”

So I ask the questions:

Where do I cheat myself?

What do I lie about?

Where am I disappointed by lost opportunities, because deep down I do not feel capable?

What am I afraid of when I face a challenging situation?

The important thing in this exercise is to let go of the fear of looking deep within, and to adopt the willingness to change, so that we can grow. Thus we begin to cultivate the certainty that we do deserve the best, and to act accordingly.

When I see that I feel like a victim, waiting for someone else to give me what I need, I can choose to give it to myself internally. I can choose to appreciate everything good in my life, even if it is minimal, instead of automatically complaining about what is missing, and I can be grateful for all the new things that are emerging as a result of making these changes.

If my automatic response is to fight and defend myself, I can use that same fighting energy to change. Fighting is just a superficial explosion that always creates the same result. We have to go beyond the need to defend, that is implicit in the desire to fight, so that deep transformation can take root within. When we responsibly move the anger, and release that energy in a healthy way, all the creative and dynamic potential emerges.

This is an invitation to cultivate change by shining the light of awareness on our automatic responses. In this way we remove the masks that we use to hide what we feel from ourselves, and we begin to experience a reliable sense of security growing within us. Automatically this will result in greater clarity in our relationships, based on trust, transparency and the vulnerability to express what we really feel, because we will be present and attentive, without abandoning ourselves anymore.

Isha Judd is an Australian humanitarian spiritual teacher based in Latin America, author of “Love Has Wings” and “Why Walk When You Can Fly?”. Y

Her website is www.ishajudd.com. You can watch “Why Walk When You Can Fly?” on itunes. Watch other movies and inspiring videos at isha.tv available through her website.