We all think we should love unconditionally and give without expecting anything in return, but most of the time these concepts are just noble ideals that are impossible to achieve.
Why is it so hard to love unconditionally? The reason we cannot love others without conditions is because we do not know how to love ourselves. How can I give what I do not have? How can I perceive perfection in others, accept them as they are, if I see myself as defective? The only way to love unconditionally is to learn to love ourselves first. Ironically, in modern society we have the idea that loving oneself is selfish. In reality, it is selfish to not love ourselves, because as you reject and judge yourself, focusing on what is wrong, you will always need something from others: approval, acceptance, recognition. And that is being selfish, taking from your loved ones rather than giving to them freely. To love yourself is to stop being selfish: to take responsibility for your own happiness and your own fulfilment as a person.
Being with yourself lovingly is enough, the presence itself is a pleasure, fuelling the power to give freely to those around you without conditions, without need, without fear. When you feel complete within yourself, it is a natural joy to give to others, to serve them in their own self-realization, and to remind them of their own perfection.
Another false idea is that self-love nourishes the ego. But the ego is that voice that convinces us that there is something wrong with us, that voice that judges us and keeps us always being less than we are capable of. Often, as protection, a false stance of arrogant pride and superiority is adopted, but if we cannot see this for what it is – deep fear and insecurity – it is because we are caught up in the same game of self-rejection. So, the first step to being able to love yourself unconditionally begins by being honest with yourself and seeing yourself as you are. By seeing and embracing all that you are, you can begin to change.
I am not talking here about acting out unconditional love, but about becoming and being unconditional love. And you will see that by embracing yourself as you are, you will become the person you always wanted to be.
Article taken from:Onmogul