We live with so much pressure, with so many dramas that overwhelm us and seem unmanageable, that clarity and introspection elude us. In our relationships, we express ourselves with reproaches based on past pains that poison the present moment and solve nothing.

Sometimes we cling to those who do not love us or even harm us, believing in the depth of our being that we do not deserve love. Thus, we relate to someone who can confirm this idea, obsessed with obtaining love where it does not exist. This is our addiction to suffering, and our attachment to the external mirror that continues to show me that “I do not deserve” and “I do nothing well”.

You can change the mirror as many times as you want (change partners, friends, places) but if you do not change internally, the reflection will be the same. When you decide to stop suffering and to vibrate in love for yourself, when you say “I deserve”, and really feel it; when you appreciate your steps towards growth and how you have changed; then your mirror will begin to reflect the brightness emanating from your inner being. You will begin to discover a real sense of self-worth.

Sometimes the fears and the phobias do not let us advance, they leave us suffering in the same place, and we feel that it is not possible to go any further. But the fears can be transformed, they are only recordings that make us perceive the world in a certain way. They are an illusion, a great divide that shouts “Don’t go beyond here, NOOOOO, something terrible can happen”.

But evolution is a permanent process of transformation, and life has a big “YES” to change. When you challenge fear, it begins to dissolve, becoming a higher vibration of energy: the vibration of love. When the recorded memories of fear dissolve, everything transforms into that high vibration and enables you to discover that which is real.

We suffer in relationships because we want to be right and feel valued. Our interactions involve fighting and arguing, waiting for the other to respond as we want them to, so we can feel happy and satisfied. But you can choose a different way. The habit of constantly complaining, wanting to be right, and trying to change the other makes us bitter. If this is your way of relating, I invite you to discover what is real and how deeply you can connect when you change the automatic response and find something deeper.

I remember a prisoner who participated in one of our programs. He told us that no one had visited him in the fifteen years he had been in jail. For years, he had harboured a silent resentment. He came to blame his family and friends for his low self-esteem and despondency. Following the guidelines of our program, he took responsibility and went inwards. He realized that he was resentful not because his loved ones did not visit him, but because he did not love himself. This was a tremendous achievement for him: to stop blaming the outside world and take responsibility for his own internal change. If he could do that while in prison, what’s stopping you from doing the same?

Isha Judd is an Australian humanitarian spiritual teacher based in Latin America, author of “Love Has Wings”and “Why Walk When You Can Fly?”. Watch “Why Walk When You Can Fly?” on itunes. Her website is www.ishajudd.com. Watch more movies and inspiring videos at isha.tv

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Entrevista realizada en On Mogul