To love yourself is not to be selfish: it is to take responsibility for your own happiness, your own fulfillment as a person. But ironically, we have the idea that it is the exact opposite.

The truth is that not loving yourself is selfish. While you reject and judge yourself, focusing on what is wrong with you, you will always need something from others: approval, acceptance; the recognition that you do not give to yourself. And that is what being selfish is: taking from your loved ones, instead of giving to them freely.

When you love yourself, it is enough to be alone, your own presence is a pleasure. You can give freely to others, without condition, without need, without fear. When you feel complete within yourself, giving to others is a natural joy.

And loving oneself does not feed the ego. The ego is that voice that convinces us that there is something wrong with us, that judges us and keeps us less than we are capable of being. Often, as a protection, we adopt a false attitude of arrogance and superiority, faking security, but if we cannot see this for what it really is – deep fear and insecurity – we are caught in the same game of self-rejection.

That is the madness of the human experience: we fight to control, to suffer, to feel victimized. We fight for love, we fight for peace, but none of this is real. If we just break that pattern we discover that we are peace and love, and that everything flows perfectly. But no, we love to control everything. We are so afraid!

Because we were taught to control, all our attention is external. It is so important that children do not lose the inner love and peace that is so natural for them: when you’re little you live in the moment, you know the sound of silence, and you love everything. Why? Not because it’s new but because you are present. You can see the magic, you can see the perfection, you can see the little animals and the leaves, you can smell the flowers, you can feel the wind because all your senses are alert. You can learn anything, you’re like a sponge.

We are all geniuses. All children are born geniuses, all of them, no matter what limitation we perceive, they are geniuses, unlimited. But what do we do ?: – “Ah, little genius … now you must fit into this little box. Get in there because this is the box that belongs to you “. “But I do not fit in there.” – “It does not matter, you need to get in there like everyone else.” “Oh … I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. ” This is what happens. We cannot enter that box because the consciousness is a room without walls, and it is unlimited.

So, the first step to unconditional self-love begins by being honest with yourself, seeing yourself as you really are. By seeing and embracing all that you are, you can choose to change. I am not speaking here of loving unconditionally, but of becoming unconditional love, being it. And you will discover that by embracing yourself as you are, you will become the person you always felt you wanted to be.

Isha Judd is an Australian humanitarian spiritual teacher based in Latin America, author of “Love Has Wings” and “Why Walk When You Can Fly?”. Watch “Why Walk When You Can Fly?” on itunes. Her website is Watch more movies and inspiring videos at

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Original article taken fromOnmogul